The Bottom Line

Issue date: 9/27/06 Section: Sex Press

Media Credit: Kaiti Robinson Princess Peach how could you!?

I'm a big believer in once a cheater - always a cheater. And I really don't understand why someone would cheat. How can you hurt the person you claim to love?
But my friend was recently cheated on by her significant other of over two years and I find the situation completely ridiculous. If you've had the same vagina for that long, you might as well stay with it while the relationship is going strong.
I think that's a very logical way to think about things too. You've spent months, years or decades with this person. That means discovering what they like, what they don't like and how to make them feel better and you've spent double that time trying to figure out their down there regions.
Now think about wasting all of that on some foreign, perhaps diseased genital area that you have to work all over again just to learn how to properly pleasure. And all the while you could have been having the most amazing intimacy with a known, probably disease-free (if you've been with it that long, I would assume…) and loyal genitalia. That foreign genitalia probably wouldn't like to meet up with your genitalia again seeing as how your genitalia has been conditioned to please someone else's for a very long period of time.
And it's more than just the sexual aspect of it all…
You can't tell someone you love them and then share that intimacy with someone else because that makes it obvious that you don't know or respect the true meaning of love.
And it's disrespect to yourself. If you're willing to throw your body around like that and just give it up to anything with two legs, then you might as well just commit a crime and help out some very lonely inmates.
The truth of it all is, where abs(tin)ence makes the heart grow fonder, it makes the genitalia yearn more. Can we say… orgasmic.
I understand that some people are forced to cheat (well not really, but for the sake of argument, let's say I understand), but if you're relationship is that bad then why not just break up with the person? If you're willing to cheat, then it's already over anyway. If you're even thinking about cheating, then you should probably consider why you are with that person in the first place.
And lastly, beer, alcohol, weed and any other of that sort, is not an excuse. It's a cop out. I don't care what a cop says, if I'm drunk driving I still know a red light means stop, it's the actual putting the foot on the brake that might cause the accident. But when it comes to drunk cheating, there's no brake and there should be no question. You still know what's right and what's wrong. Just don't do it.

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